Cuddle Bear vs The Paparazis
by Starlight Pixiedust
Summary: Han and Leia are caught in a compromising situations after a fight and hilarity ensues!
1. All hell breaks loose

This is ummm... odd. Hopefully you find it mildly humourous. It takes place about six months after ROTJ. I'll continue soon. Enjoy!  
  


***  
Cuddle Bear vs. The Paprazzis  
  


Leia flopped on the couch and gulped at her vitamin enriched energy shake. It tasted like something she'd have picked out of Chewie's fur but she didn't care. She was angry with Han, she had only slept for an hour and she had a big meeting with Mon Mothma, Admiral Ackbar, Wedge Antilles, General Reekan and none other than Mr. Nerf Herder himself. The night before he's stopped by her office looking to take her home. She'd refused, needing to finish preparing for a presentation. A blowout had followed where he'd accused her of being addicted to her work. She'd accused him of being possessive.  
  
Heaving a sigh, Leia hauled herself off the comfortable couch and out the door of her office. Instinctively she straightened her spine and shoulders as she neared the door. Leia glanced down at herself, smoothing her hand over her dress. She stepped into the conference room and her eyes immediately locked with Han's. The temperature in the room immediately dropped about 50 degrees. The already gathered counselors glanced back and forth between the two. They could only guess about what had passed between the two but they were always locking horns.  
  
Mon Mothma said, a little bit too brightly, shall we begin? They all seated. Leia sat across from Han, purposefully stamping on his foot. He shot her a glare, to which she smiled sweetly.  
  
The king and queen of Bascull are having marital problems and the citizens are growing anxious- Mon Mothma began before Han cut her off.  
  
Maybe the queen doesn't make time for her _Cuddle Bear,_ Han grumbled.  
Maybe the king doesn't let the queen run her own life, Leia shot back.  
Maybe the queen's heart is just as cold as Hoth! Han propped his fists on the table and partly stood.  
Maybe the king is a big baby! Leia's posture mimicked Han's, their faces only a few inches away from each other. The others held their collective breath, glancing back and forth between the two furious faces before Mon Mothma announced, Let's finish up tomorrow, shall we? before everyone hurried to the door. Han and Leia glared at each other until the door clicked shut. Han's face softened and before even realizing what was happening, Leia was on the other side of the desk, in Han's arms, kissing him frantically, tugging at the buttons of his shirt.  
  
Nat lounged in her office at the Imperial Center, watching the screens with only half an eye. The screens showed various offices, conference rooms and hallways. A sudden move attracted her attention and she glanced up just in time to see Leia Organa sliding over the table in a conference room into the arms of none other than Han Solo. They had been rumoured to be a couple ever since the Empire fell and the Rebels moved on to Coruscant but no one would confirm it.  
  
Glancing to make sure the machine was recording everything, Nat leaned over and thumbed a com link.  
  
I've got a video you might want to see...  
  


***  


  
Ya know, we should fight more often.  
  
Han drew the sheet higher over them and kissed Leia. She cuddled closer and sighed. They had just spent one of the best nights of her life, making love, cuddling then doing it all over again.  
  
Han said he was going to make some caf, dropped a kiss on her back and climbed out of bed. She smiled as she watched him run a hand through his scruffy hair and shamble to the kitchen. She sometimes wished she could dance on the rooftops and tell the galaxy that she was in love with Han Solo, but she knew that that would only bring problems, like being hounded by the tabloids. They had kept their relationship a secret, even from Luke.  
  
Leia nuzzled her face into the pillow and sniffed appreciatively the smells wafting from the kitchen. She didn't even want to think of how little sleep she'd had, but she didn't care either way. She hadn't felt this good in months, not since their first night together on their way to Bakura, only hours after the battle of Endor.  
  
Leia groaned as the com link next to her bed blared. She thumbed it thinking it was Winter.  
  
she muttered, flopping back on to the pillow.  
  
You and Han!?!?! Luke shrieked from the other end.  
  
What are you talking about, Luke? she said in what she hoped was her most innocent voice.  
  
Just put on the Holonet, he grumbled and clicked off.  
  
Mystified, Leia padded over to the computer screen on her desk. She flicked on the Holonet and gasped at the sight of her and Han on the conference table. He was struggling with the zipper on the back on her dress. The clip faded out and the broadcaster continued babbling about the rumours and how they had met. It cut to Wedge Antilles being interviewed.  
  
Well, on Endor, I saw Leia kiss him, but I didn't think anything of it. I mean, she was hugging everyone. But, if it is true, they have my congratulations, I think they'd be great together.  
  
she called, Get in here! He raced in wearing only an apron. At any other time, she'd have laughed. His face froze when he saw the video clip being played again.  
  
Oh god. Luke...  
  
He already saw it. He was the one who told me.  
  
Ya know what I think? We should walk out, holding our heads high, Han said, straightening his back and tugging at the apron, like he was going to curtsey.  
  
Leia shrugged. She had never, never been so humiliated. Or felt so naked. Not even after having to bathe in a river with a dozen males including her lover and her brother, or laying across Jabba's knee in a bikini.  
  
But Princess Leia Organa always faced her troubles with a brave face. She stood, mock saluted Han and said, Come on, General. Let's go out and face the music.  
  
Han laughed and swept her into his arms. No matter what happens, sweetheart, I'm gonna love you.  
  
Leia giggled and whispered, I know. Standing on tip toe, she kissed him. She lay her face on his chest and her eyes drifted open to be greeted by the view of a passel of reporters taking photos of them through her bedroom window. With a shriek, Leia dropped to the floor, realizing that several of the top paparazzis of Coruscant had just seen her naked. Her and Han huddled at the end of the bed, out of view of the cameras.  
  
Thank the stars your clothes are just on the floor, Leia said. They glanced at each other and burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it. They were hiding with greater fear from a bunch of people with cameras then they had from Darth Vader.  
  
Come on, Princess, let's go to work.  
  


***  


  
Han and Leia strolled into the same conference room as they had the day before. They had had an eventful journey into work, having been chased by tabloid writers and reporters. Once they reached the Center, the situation hadn't improved much. It seemed everyone had given them knowing looks or made a comment.  
  
Leia realized that the rest of the counellors were seated as far from the table as possible and avoiding the middle section where her and Han had been the night before. She pasted a smile on her face and seated.  
  
Good morning. Where was it we left off yesterday? Leia asked, flipping on her datapad, convinced that she'd act like the tape didn't exist and praying that no one had bothered to watch the Holonet this morning.  
When you ripped Han's pants off- Wedge began, turned beet red when he realized he'd said, clapping a hand over his mouth.  
Han cleared his throat. Can we leave my pants out of this?  
I do believe that you quite enjoyed leaving your pants off, hmmm? General Reekan smirked.  
  
Leia felt like a blood vessel was about to burst in her brain. _Please, please just kill me now. Just drop a nice big meteor right on me._  
  
Let us leave this foolishness aside, shall we? Mon Mothma declared, giving a stern look to all. Reekan and Wedge suddenly both became quite absorbed in their datapads. Mon snuck a guilty look at Leia and asked hesitantly, Ummm... is this all true? I mean, I'd like to know for... um... official reasons. For the record and such.  
  
Han sighed deeply, glancing at Leia. She was carefully smoothing a non-existant wrinkle in her skirt. he declared, it's true.  
How long? Wedge asked eagerly, forgetting his datapad.  
Han and Leia glanced at each other guiltily. Since we left Hoth.  
Wedge turned to Reekan, extending one hand. You owe me 50 credits!


	2. Please, just drop a big meteor on me

This picks up right where we left off. Enjoy!  
  
Leia pleaded, Can we forget that tape exists for a few minutes so we can finish this meeting? She sighed as the others nodded.  
  
The rest of the meeting was uneventful. Leia switched off her datapad and told Han she'd meet him at 1800 to go to dinner. He squeezed her shoulder and dropped a kiss on her forehead before she left, leaving Han alone with Wedge.  
  
So Han, Wedge said, dropping a wink, What she like?  
Han gave Wedge a strange look. I take it you mean what's Leia like in the sac? Well, buddy, what's it to you?  
Wedge flushed slightly. Ugh, well, a couple of the Rogues have a bet going about it...  
Han grinned lopsidedly. I'll say one thing... she makes me a very happy man. He turned and walked to the door, pausing for a moment, glancing back over his shoulder at Wedge. She's a moaner.  
  
Han stepped out of the turbolift down the hall from Leia's office, whistling, carrying a bouquet of Naboo lilies. Suddenly, Luke appeared in front of him, lounging for him.  
You son of a Hutt! Luke snarled. He caught hold of Han's vest and punched him squarely in the jaw. Luke pushed him against the wall and punched him again, this time in the gut, knocking the air out of him. Han grunted and doubled over.  
  
Leia heard the commotion in the hall and hurried out.  
Leia shrieked and ran to him. Han lay crumpled on the floor, gasping. Stop hurting Han!  
Leia hurried over and helped Han up, guiding him towards her office. She shot Luke an angry glance before the doors slid shut.  
  
Han smiled weakly and held up the crumpled flowers.  
These were for you, he admitted, dropping them on to the couch.  
Leia ordered. Han mock saluted and did so. Leia examined his face critically.  
You'll have a real shiner by morning, she said, dropping a soft kiss on the quickly forming bruise. Han pulled her into his lap, nuzzling her hair.  
It was worth it. Luke I think needed to get it out of his system. He paused. Now how about some dinner?  
Leia laughed. Well, they do always say a way to a man's heart is his stomach.  
Then I must have some weird stomach, judging from the stuff they were serving on Hoth. Leia laughed again, and dropped a kiss on Han's lips.


	3. I happen to like nice ladies

Luke was sullenly applying bacta to his bleeding knuckles when Leia came in. He was sitting in one of the staff lounge's, a medkit on the table in front of him.  
Hey there slugger, she said, her eyes dark and wide. Luke smiled wryly.  
Leia began, sitting prettily on the edge of the couch. it was wrong of us not to tell you. I regret it now. It's hard though... this new for both of us, being in a committed relationship-  
So it is serious?  
Serious as in we love each other very much. We've talked about marriage and kids and maybe eventually but for now... Leia smiled and a dreamy look passed over her face. We like where we are now. She looked up at him again. Still friends?  
Were we ever not? Luke said, and hugged her. Now go on. Nurse Han back to health.  
Leia laughed and hurried off.  
  
Seriously, Princess. I'm fine!  
Leia's head and shoulders dropped out from the ceiling and grinned at Han.  
No you're not. You're all bruised up.  
Sweetheart, I dragged myself for three kilometers of underbrush with a splint on my leg and a broken nose. I think I can handle a few bruises.  
Leia's grin turned wicked as she said Let me just enjoy this, ok? She glances around the room. I can see why you like it up here. I feel so much bigger than everyone.  
Han stood and walked to her. Nah. You're just small, he drawled and she punched him on the shoulder.  
He howled. Come on, you deserved that, Leia laughed.  
Hey, I happen to like nice ladies.  
I'm a nice lady.  
No you're not-  
Com'ere, Cuddle Bear. Leia grabbed Han and kissed him quite soundly.


End file.
